


Holmes Boys Intelligence Network

by LaShaRa



Series: Meeting The Family [5]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Badass Women, Chat rooms, Crack, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:09:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25754884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaShaRa/pseuds/LaShaRa
Summary: The Holmes Boys are a handful. Someone needs to keep them out of trouble. That's what the secure chatroom is for.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Series: Meeting The Family [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1442668
Comments: 13
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [I_kill_Zombies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_kill_Zombies/gifts).
  * Inspired by [You Have 487 New Messages (Or, In Which Sherlock Holmes Starts a Grouptext)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550472) by [JenTheSweetie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenTheSweetie/pseuds/JenTheSweetie). 



**6 August 2020** ****

_ Genesis:  _ He’s doing it again. 

_ Blossom:  _ Oh dear, already? It’s only been a week!

_ Genesis: _ Well, if it goes on any longer I won’t be held responsible for my actions. 

_ Genesis:  _ Alex, any updates?

_ Alexandros:  _ Not at this time. Himself has a long memory and Walther has an incurable habit of making himself memorable.

_ Blossom:  _ That’s certainly true. 

_ Alexandros:  _ It was supposed to be a six month posting in the Himalayas. 

_ Alexandros:  _ Littlest talked him down. A week in Tehran is practically a vacation.

_ Genesis:  _ Well, see if you can’t hurry things along all the same. Things are getting dire here.

_ Blossom:  _ Could he really be worse than Trouble?

_ Genesis:  _ OH yes. Just this morning he reprogrammed every mobile in the building to play “Macarena” whenever a call comes in. 

_ Genesis:  _ It’s getting a bit tedious. 

_ Genesis:  _ Almost makes me wish for the random gunfire instead.

_ Alexandros:  _ That can be arranged. 

_ Blossom:  _ Play nice, you two. 

_ Genesis:  _ Sorry. 

_ Alexandros:  _ Apologies. 

_ Genesis:  _ Seriously, Alex. He hasn’t touched my mobile yet, but he’s giving me looks. 

_ Genesis:  _ If he crosses the line, all bets are off. 

_ Alexandros:  _ Oh, fine. I’ll see what I can do. 

_ Alexandros:  _ Blossom, a slice or two of butter cake wouldn’t go amiss. I know you baked one this morning. 

_ Blossom:  _ Dear, you know I don’t like it when you pick up bad habits from Himself. 

_ Alexandros:  _ Apologies. 

_ Alexandros:  _ The buttercake?

_ Blossom:  _ Yes, yes, you can pick it up at tea time.

_ Genesis:  _ Thanks, Blossom. Alex, bring me some as well. 

_ Alexandros:  _ I am not your Deliveroo. And you are out of my way. 

_ Genesis:  _ Yes, but you know how many weapons I carry on my person. And how unconcerned I am about firing them in the workplace. 

_ Alexandros:  _ Rerouting. 

_ Blossom:  _ One of these days we are going to sit down and talk about your unhealthy attitudes towards violence. 

_ Blossom:  _ But today is not that day. 


	2. Chapter 2

**9 August 2020**

_ Blossom:  _ Anyone for a drink?

_ Genesis:  _ It’s Sunday.

_ Blossom:  _ And when has that ever stopped us?

_ Genesis:  _ I take your point. 

_ Genesis:  _ Are we meeting at your place? What about your unmarried ones?

_ Alexandros:  _ Case.

_ Blossom:  _ Yes, exactly. They were banging on about it all last night

_ Blossom:  _ I thought they’d come down through the floor at one point

_ Blossom:  _ But at least we'll have a bit of peace now.  Will you be able to get away?

_ Alexandros:  _ I’ll let you know. 

_ Alexandros:  _ Himself wanted to stop by the latest scene and make an impression.

_ Genesis:  _ Trouble won’t be pleased to see him, given how Tehran turned out.

_ Alexandros:  _ As I understand it, Trouble really couldn’t care less about Tehran.

_ Alexandros:  _ But Littlest is furious because his boyfriend is in Medical

_ Alexandros:  _ And Siger is irritated with Himself’s  _ abuse of power _

_ Blossom:  _ And Trouble is annoyed because the other two are annoyed. 

_ Alexandros:  _ Precisely.

_Genesis:_ How is Dartmoor taking all this?

_Alexandros:_ He is ignoring Trouble and pretending not to appreciate my employer's assets

_Alexandros:_ My employer appears torn between antagonizing Siger and returning the appreciation. 

_ Genesis:  _ They’re such _ children _ , oh my God.

_ Alexandros:  _ You have no idea. 

_ Blossom:  _ Well that certainly explains last night’s racket

_ Blossom:  _ Trouble is loud enough by himself, but with Siger?

_ Blossom:  _ Between these cases and Himself and their recent arrangement, it’s enough to do my head in!

_ Genesis:  _ Yeah, it’s doing my head in already. 

_ Genesis:  _ Bit TMI, Blossom.

_ Blossom:  _ Oh, hush. I know what you do for a living. 

_ Genesis:  _ Yes, but I’m all grown up now

_ Genesis:  _ All the better to recognize when a situation has explosive potential.

_ Alexandros:  _ If we’re proceeding with this line of conversation, I think alcohol is in order. 

_ Genesis:  _ Yeah, I’m off for the night. 

_ Genesis:  _ Going to swing by the off-licence on my way over. Blossom, your usual?

_ Blossom:  _ Ooh, yes. Thank you, dear.

_ Genesis:  _ Alex, what’ll it be?

_ Alexandros:  _ Refreshments will be provided courtesy of my employer this evening. 

_ Genesis:  _ I  _ knew  _ those bloody cars had to have a secret stash!

_ Alexandros:  _ Less of a stash, more of a...contingency plan. 

_ Genesis:  _ You’ve got a damn distillery in there, don’t you. 

_ Alexandros:  _ ETA 23 minutes.

_ Genesis:  _ Some days I’m madly jealous of your office perks

_ Genesis:  _ And then I remember who you work for and come to my senses.

_ Alexandros:  _ The feeling is mutual.

_ Blossom:  _ Oh, you millennial girls have such fun!

_ Genesis:  _ Don’t even start,  _ BLOSSOM.  _ Alex found the pictures.

_ Genesis:  _ Macau pales in comparison. 

_ Blossom:  _ On the other hand, I have lived a life. 

_ Alexandros:  _ Indeed. We would never mistake you for being anyone’s housekeeper.

_ Blossom:  _ Thank you, dear. It’s nice to be noticed. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by an amazing idea from I_kill_Zombies and also by JenTheSweetie's You Have 487 New Messages, which is pure genius and hilarity. It promises to be a lot lighter than my other works. Kudos to everyone who gets the references!


End file.
